Am I doing the right thing?

She feels lonely bcs she's losing her friends.
And that's because she's in a relationship now.

And most of all, she lost her best friend, N, who has been there
and has done so much for her.
N may be the only person who would ever love her that deep...
Im not saying that I don't love her and wouldn't love her as deep
but looking at N... I...

*sigh* If I knew N's story from the beginning... I wouldn't have....
kept seeing her at the first place & let myself love her uncontrollably
I wouldn't have allowed my love for her to grow stronger day by day
No one was there to tell me anything....... No one....
Im too deep in love with her now...

When she first told me that N's so in love with her, I was really shocked!
I didn't show it but I was really really shocked!
I know she always go out with him and her friends are seeing them as a couple
but I thought they are just friends.
I thought N only treats her as a friend.

Till I found out about the N's story - 3years of courting and being her only soul mate
thingy... I got so shocked and overwhelmed by guilt~

And when I found out that P, one of her closest friend, has strong affection for her...
(Oh please... it's definitely not the feeling to a sister. We talked so long and he made things
so clear to me - I've even talked face-face to him, details on the face and emotions have shown
things so clear - P even said the way P loves her is greater than to her ex. ~and why would you bring
up your ex to compare to this feeling of yours to her? You know what I mean.)

That moment, seriously I... ... I really don't know how to express that feeling here now.
It's like all her closest friends (all males)  have feelings for her...
Now that I'm with her, her friends are getting away from her......

Sometimes when I think about it
I feel so guilty
I barge into her life from nowhere, I affect her life so much.
Im making her losing her friends.
Now Im creating problems and pains to her life.
Im the root to all her problems.
Am I doing the right thing?

She means too much to me
I just want her to be happy
P is right.
All these changes started bcs of me and that I should fix the problem.
Should I let go of this relationship so that her friends can come back to her?
So that she won't feel so lonely (this bunch of friends of hers means so much to her)
so that she'll feel better in life. =\

You know... as long as she's happy...as long she feels better
I'm willing to let go...


I just want her to be happy